Focus Groups: Money Making Secrets

Another day, another "Ghostbusters 3" rumor — and this one comes from gossip mag The National Enquirer of all places!

The scandalmongers are reporting that after star Bill Murray was sent the latest screenplay of the project, he mailed fellow ghostbusters Dan Aykroyd and Harold Ramis a nasty present: a box with the script totally shredded inside like confetti. The note attached read, "No one wants to pay money to see fat, old men chasing ghosts!" The Enquirer reports that Dan and Harold were so upset by his response, that they plan on making the movie without him. Dread Central has more on the report.

Sound like a lot of nonsense to you too? Let us know below, and keep on reading for more of the week's Horror Bites.

'Hansel and Gretel' Set to Battle Witches This Fall

"Dead Snow" director Tommy Wirkola makes his Hollywood debut with the upcoming "Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters" — but Fangoria is reporting that Paramount will be shuffling the release date from March 2 to sometime next fall. Jeremy Renner and Gemma Arterton star as the iconic children in the woods all grown up. The whole gingerbread house debacle inspired them to become expert witch hunters. Here's hoping we'll get our dark fairy tale fix sooner rather than later.

'The Innkeepers' Paranormal Viral Clip

Have you been looking forward to "House of the Devil" director Ti West's latest, "The Innkeepers?" A bit of viral goodness has hit the interwebs to get everyone pumped for the film's VOD release on December 30. Sara Paxton and Pat Healy star in the chiller about a ghostly hotel and the inn's employees who try to uncover the secrets of its dark past. This EVP footage should satisfy (and possibly terrify) the supernatural enthusiasts.

New Teaser Images for 'John Dies at the End'

"Phantasm" director Don Coscarelli's newest "John Dies at the End" — based on the novel of the same name by David Wong (AKA Jason Pargin) — has some new images on their Facebook page that are getting us more excited for the movie's upcoming Sundance appearance. The "Bubba Ho-Tep" filmmaker's fans have been waiting for a new project by the director since his 2005 "Masters of Horror" episode. Fans of the book — which began as a web series in 2001 — are also anticipating seeing the horror/sci-fi/comedy story on the big screen.

Paul Giamatti, Clancy Brown, and Doug Jones star alongside Chase Williamson and Rob Mayes — two slacker buddies that are charged with saving all of humanity. Paranormal creatures and a weird time-traveling drug known as Soy Sauce creates trouble for the friends and the residents of their midwestern town. Hit the Facebook page for a preview.

'Hostel III' Clip Requires an Exterminator

Whenever we think of the holidays, we always imagine high stakes gambling and perverse games of torture. Perhaps that's why the DVD and Digital Download premiere of "Hostel III" is coming to you on December 27 from Sony Pictures Home Entertainment. Friends at a bachelor party in Vegas end up gambling on their lives when they are lured off the strip and into the Elite Hunting Club's private playhouse. Dread Central has an exclusive clip that should make your skin crawl if you're curious.

Tell us what you think of this week's Horror Bites in the comments and on Twitter!

Tags bill murray, ghostbusters 3, Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters, Hostel III, John Dies at the End, The Innkeepers

But the accidental entrepreneurs mentioned above had it. The combination of luck, health, and flexibility that allows one to roll with disappointments, learn from them, move forward, and repeat when necessary.

Train your body, mind, and soul before you jump into your startup to be able to handle the following:

Get used to vomiting. Because you’re going to do it a lot before it’s all over. And guess what—it’s never going to be over. Once you’re an entrepreneur, you will be one for the rest of your life. Make sure you don’t eat too much junk food—that feels horrible when you throw it up—and make sure you keep a lot of Maalox around for gas.

The economy doesn’t matter. Groupon started in November, 2008. The news media is always going to say the economy is in the crapper. For once in your life, and for the rest of your entrepreneurship, turn the TV off.

You have no idea what’s going to be successful or not. Nobody is going to hit that big button in the middle of your page. They might hit that random little button that is the size of the dot on an “i” in the corner of your page. Don’t argue with that dot! Change directions and build your business around it. In 2006, I really really wanted to get out of the whole online finance game. So I made a dating website. I made ten dating websites. None of them worked. I built Stockpickr.com and got a million users a month. So that’s the one I stuck with even though I felt like shooting myself in the head. I really wanted to get into online dating but online dating took one look at me and said, “uhhh…you better get back where you came from, sugar.” Hmm, that sort of came out in a transvestite thought bubble. The point is: a good entrepreneur probably has no clue what’s going to be good or bad. That’s not the key to success.

You have to kiss a ton of ass. More asses than you can ever have imagined kissing. Every customer wants to be your friend. And friends call each other at four in the morning, right? Get used to it. I had, and still have, a lot of four AM calls. But finally about a year ago I stopped picking them up. Hence my phone number.

You have to travel 60,000 miles at least. In coach. Everyone needs to meet. Lots of meetings. maybe 10 of those miles will result in actual revenues. Try to avoid meetings since 99% of them are worthless. And if you go to meetings, do this: no dougnuts and chairs in the meeting room. Then the meetings will at least be fast.

You have to learn how to use a lead pipe or a baseball bat if you want to get paid by all of your clients.

Your website is always going to be too slow. When I started Stockpickr.com I once went bowling with my then five year old. I was constantly reloading the site on my now-antique phone and doing “one Mississippi, two Mississippi,..” to see how fast it was loading (not fast enough and it would be hours before the guys in India woke up and it was random whether or not it was a religious holiday or the power was out all over Bangalore in a freak lightning storm). Finally, my five year old dropped the bowling ball on her toes while I was doing this. Then I got divorced.

You’re always going to have three features in your head that need to go on the site now and that’s just not possible. (Remember: freak lightning storm).

Your investors, by the way, are going to have six features they want on your website and none of them make sense and they want to know from you right now why the features weren’t on your site yesterday. And if you don’t return their call right now they are going to take legal action. Which brings me to…

Investors have lawyers and you don’t.

Your employees are going to have sex with each other and somehow you’re going to be in the middle. And not in a good way.

You are constantly going to be gripped with thoughts that your competitors are all better than you. And guess what, they are. So now you have to lie to all of your investors who are constantly calling you before their “Monday morning meetings” asking you, “can you tell me one more time why you’re better than so-and-so?”

The only way to really secure a client is to get them money or sex. You didn’t read that here. I forget already what I just said.

You are going to, at least once, hire a PR firm and only realize much later that it was the worst thing you ever did. PR people are very charismatic so it takes awhile before you stop being snowed over by them. Corollary: the launch of your site will have no publicity anywhere. Not even on TechCrunch. Corollary number two: successful CEOs often divorce their wives and marry their PR people.

Practice saying this in front of the mirror and pretend you are talking to an employee: “the pay is not a lot but we’re heading to an eventual IPO. We’re working on an option plan but it’s not done yet.” Watch how your eyebrows move while you say that.

Then practice saying this in the mirror: “yes”. Imagine all of your customers are squeezed into your mirror. Maybe it’s like a group Skype Mirror. Or a Google+ Hangout Mirror. “Yes”. “Yes, I can do that in three days.” “Yes, you can call me at four in the morning.”

Focus Groups

Monday, January 9, 2012

Money Making Secrets

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